Santa Claus is Coming to Sector 001

(an unauthorized Star Trek: The Next Generation Xmas adventure)

Captain's Log (supplemental): Having retrieved Commanders Riker and La Forge and Lt. Worf from their shore leave on Risa, the Enterprise is proceeding to Sector 001...Earth...to collect Dr. Crusher and Nurse Ogawa, who have been attending a conference at Starfleet Medical, before heading back to the outer rim...

Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge and Lt. Worf proceeded smartly down the hall leading away from Sickbay. Geordi, as is his wont, is smiling. Worf, as is his wont, is not.

"...they should not have challenged me if they were not up to the task," Worf said resolutely.

Geordi chuckled. "Worf, I really don't think that those Cardassian wrestlers really expected you to be so...enthusiastic..."

"Bones heal," Worf said emphatically, a touch of condescension slipping into his gruff voice.

"A fitting Klingon sentiment for this time of the year, I suppose," Geordi replies with a smile. "As long as you had a good time..."

Worf nodded. "I trust that the Commander's mysterious ailment will be easily treated," he said, changing the subject. "He seemed in some distress when we left him in Sickbay."

Geordi smiled mischievously and said, "Oh, he'll be okay...any distress you saw came from the fact that Beverly is on Earth and he has to explain his...ailment...to Dr. Selar."

Geordi laughed merrily as they entered the turbolift; Worf raised an eyebrow but said nothing...he'd lived among humans long enough to know that the import of Commander LaForge's cryptic comments would be forever lost on him and so he gave it no further thought.

"...and so, Commander, you believe that you may have been...infected...during your intimate liaison with an Andorian female you met during your leave?"

Riker squirmed uncomfortably in the humorless gaze of the Vulcan doctor. "Yes, doctor," he stammered, uncharacteristically red-faced and ill at ease," that's pretty much the case."
The Vulcan woman's stoic expression did not change. "I see."

Dr. Selar picked up a tricorder and aimed it at Riker's crotch. She studied the readings for a moment and then closed the instrument. "You were correct, Commander," she said evenly, "the rash on your...genitals...is indeed the first stages of an Andorian swamp virus."

"Yikes," Riker said with a nervous smile. "I trust you have something for that."

Selar cocked one of her pronounced eyebrows and Riker could swear that the hint of a smile was playing at the corners of her mouth. "Yes, of course, Commander Riker," she said flatly, reaching for a hypo-spray. "Dr. Crusher alerted me to your off-duty... predilections...when she briefed me."

"Did she now?"

Selar administered the hypo. "The rash should be gone shortly."

Riker stepped down from the examination table and adjusted the shirt of his uniform. "Well thank you, doctor," a bit of his usual confidence returning to his voice. I trust that this will remain confidential..?"

Selar looked vaguely insulted but in an even voice she replied, "Of course."

Riker's face brightened. "Doctor, may I be the first to wish you a very Happy Christmas?"

Selar's eyebrow went up again. "If you must."

"Right. Thanks." Riker turned on his heel and went through the door into the hall quickly.

On the bridge, Picard sat silently, lost in his thoughts. At Ops, Lt. Commander Data monitored the myriad functions of his station while running calculations for the refinement of the Hawkings Curve that he was working on. At the Conn, Ensign Rhiannon Chang fretted through the changes, hoping against hope that her first turn at the helm with the Captain on the bridge would continue to go smoothly.

Picard glanced over as the door to the turbolift opened. He took in the soft draw of breath he always had to when she came into a room...he knew that his idle passion was crystal clear to her Betazoid senses but there was nothing that he could do about that.

Deanna, who was of course well aware of his reaction to her, said nothing as she came down the ramp and sat on his left. "Will we be staying on Earth for Christmas, Captain?" she asked pleasantly.

Picard allowed a fleeting smile, thinking of his family in France and all the lovely Christmases past. "I had thought we might, Counselor. It's not often that we are at the homeworld during the holidays." He turned and looked at her. "Do you have a lot of memories of Christmas?"

Deanna smiled wistfully. "Yes, we celebrated every year on Betazed. My father brought the tradition with him from Earth. Mother thought it was silly...at least until she was told that gifts were involved and then she got into the spirit of it."

Picard chuckled warmly. "I can see where that might make the difference with her..."

Picard was about to say something else when Chang interrupted. "Excuse me, Captain," she said tremulously. "Long range sensors are detecting some kind of craft adrift in Earth orbit."

"Confirmed, Captain," Data said, pressing panels on his console. "It seems to be adrift high above the Earth's northern pole."

Picard frowned. "It must have been detected by Earth-based sensor arrays by now."

Data shook his head slightly. "No sign of any activity, sir. It seems to have escaped detection by the orbital sensors as well."

"That's damn odd..." Picard said idly.

"What's odd, sir," Riker said as he came through the turbolift doors with Worf right behind.

Picard was disoriented for a second but then he turned towards Riker as he came down the ramp; Worf took his place at the security console.

"We seem to have a...unidentified craft in Earth orbit...and no one seems to have noticed but us," Picard said turning towards the front viewing screen. "By the way, welcome back, Number One, Mr. Worf."

"Thank you, sir," Riker replied as he took his seat at Picard's right-hand. "Mr. Worf, open a channel to the craft."

Worf touched a couple of panels on his console. "No reply, sir," he said gravely. "What's more we seem to be out of touch with all Earth based communications."
Picard frowned again. "Slow to impulse, Ensign Chang."

"Aye, sir."

"Put the craft on viewer," Picard ordered.

On the big screen, Earth...hanging blue and green in an ebon field of tars...came into view.

"Magnify and enhance, Mr. Data," Picard directed.

"Yes, sir...I..."

Everyone on the bridge fell silent with astonishment as the craft came into view. The "craft" was a large sleigh filled with gaily-wrapped boxes. Eight powerful reindeer, harnessed to the sleigh, were sprawled unconscious in the void. And slumped over in the driver's seat, was a rotund, rosy-cheeked, white-bearded man all dressed in scarlet and white.

"Incroyable!" Picard gasped. "This must be some kind of joke!"

"Father Christmas!" Worf exclaimed, immediately embarrassed by his loss of demeanor.

"Santa Claus?" Deanna said, her eyes wide with wonder. "Will, is that...?"

Riker shook his head. "Looks like, Deanna..."

Data had a child-like, inquisitive smile on his face. "Santa Claus?" he said. "Accessing...yes, Santa Claus...also known as St. Nicholas...also known as Father Christmas...also known as..."

"Data!" Picard said sharply. "Are there any lifesigns."

Data touched a panel. "Yes, sir! The...man...and his animals are all alive. Unconscious but alive..."

Riker looks over. "I guess we should beam them aboard?"

Picard nodded. "That would seem to be the prudent thing, Number One. Make it so."

Presently in Sickbay, the old man is laid down on a diagnostic table. Selar is examining the readings while Picard and Riker look on.

"What's the diagnosis, doctor?" Picard inquired.
"His readings indicate that he is indeed human...though I cannot tell you why he was able to survive in the void." Selar replies. "I am also unable to find a physiological reason for his apparent coma..."

"I guess he survived by magic," Riker offered wryly, "he is Santa Claus after all..."

Selar regarded him with mild, fleeting derision. "That is illogical, Commander."

"Indeed," Picard agreed. "But still..."

A soft tone sounded. "Troi to Picard."

Picard touched the golden insignia on his chest. "Go ahead, Counselor."

On the bridge, Deanna was seated in the captain's chair. "We have been unable to raise any one Earthside, Captain...they don't seem to know that we're here."

"Thank you, Counselor," Picard said. "Keep trying."

"Perhaps Dr. Crusher would be able to discover something that I am unable to find," Selar said idly.

Suddenly there was a flash of soft golden light and Dr. Beverly Crusher was standing amongst them.

"Beverly?!?" Picard exclaimed.

"Jean-Luc??" Crusher, visibly disoriented, said. "How did I get here? I was at Starfleet Medical waiting for word that the Enterprise had arrived and then..."

Crusher's words drifted away as she looked down at the unconscious man on the table. "...who... is...this...?"

Riker smiled. "He may be exactly who he looks like he is, Doctor."

In Shuttlebay 1, Lt. Commander LaForge walked slowly around the sleigh, his VISOR examining it in a dozen ways at once. Off on the far end of the bay, the reindeer, now all awake and seemingly no worse for wear, watched with casual interest.

"I don't know, Data," Geordi said. "There is absolutely nothing that I can find that could make this thing fly."

Data stepped closer. "Nevertheless, Geordi," he responded earnestly, "that is what it appeared to do."

Geordi turned towards the reindeer. "Perhaps it was those guys like the stories said."

Data looked at his friend and then at the animals. "Geordi," he said patiently, "these animals have been examined and they display no unusual traits."

Geordi sighed and turned back towards the shuttlebay's doors. "Well, I don't know what to tell you, Data," he said with mild exasperation creeping into his voice. "Like your pal Sherlock Holmes said, once you've eliminated the probable, whatever's left...however improbable...must be the truth. We can't find an answer through science and so maybe that old man is who he looks like and this thing really flies through..."

A child-like smile crept onto the android's saffron face. "...magic..." Data said almost gleefully, finishing Geordi's statement.

In Sickbay, Picard and Riker looked on as Crusher and Selar continued to examine the rotund old man.

"Well, doctor?" Picard said somewhat impatiently.

Crusher shook her head dismissively and continued to examine her patient. "I have no idea why this man is not awake..."

"I'm just a little tired, Beverly," the man said suddenly, startling all of them. The man's eyes slid open. Despite his stated weariness, those eyes were bright and full of laughter.

Picard stepped forward. "I'm Captain J..."

The old man chuckled affectionately. "I know who you are, Jean-Luc." With Crusher and Selar's aid, he sat up on the table. "I know all of you."

He smiled at Crusher. "Beverly. You were such a headstrong girl..."

He looked up at Riker. "Ah, William," he said with mock-reproach, "still as always the scamp, aren't you?"

He turned to Selar. "And dear Selar..."

Selar's upraised eyebrow went up a bit further. "Your pardon, sir," she interrupted, "even if you are who you appear to be, you cannot know me...we do not have this 'Christmas' on Vulcan."

The old man smiled and patted Selar's arm affectionately. "I am wherever there are children and other people of good will, gentle Selar," he replied. "And I do know you as well."

Picard cleared his throat. "Now, look here, Mister...?"

"Call me Nick," the old man said jovially.

Picard sighed ever so slightly. "Yes, of course," he replied evenly. "Look here, Nick, you cannot possibly be who you appear to be..."

"Why not?" Nick said pleasantly. "Don't you believe in Santa Claus, Captain?"

"No," Picard shot back irritably, "I do not."

Nick laughed boisterously. "That's okay, son," he chuckled, "I believe in you." He paused and then added, "And no, Jean-Luc, in answer to your unvoiced question, I am not the Q entity...he has been a bad boy for so long that I won't be visiting him for ages to come..."

The room went quiet as Picard and Nick looked deeply into each other's eyes.

Then Picard blushed and cleared his throat once again. "What can we do to help you...Nick?"

The old man smiled. "I've only a handful of deliveries to make but I'm tired...perhaps this lovely ship of yours could help an old man...?"

A bit later in the Captain's Ready Room, Picard, Riker, LaForge, and Data confer.

"What convinced you, sir?" Riker inquired.

"I don't know, Number One," Picard replied thoughtfully, "we've seen so many amazing things in our travels...why shouldn't we just believe?"

"That is not a logical conclusion, sir," Data interjected.

Picard nodded. "Perhaps not, Mr. Data," he said, "but sometimes a little faith goes a lot further than a lot of logic..."

Picard turned to LaForge. "Geordi, is everything prepared?"

"Yes, sir," he replied with incredulity coloring his voice, "we're ready."

"Well done."

A soft beep sounded. "Worf to Picard."

"Go ahead, Lieutenant."

There was a pregnant silence then Worf said, "Sir, do I really have to do this? It's so...undignified..."

Riker and LaForge suppressed laughs while Data looked on in confusion.

"You don't have to do this, Mr. Worf," Picard replied. "But he did ask for you specifically...and I would consider it a personal favor..."

After another long pause, Worf sighed audibly and said, "Very well, sir. I'll do it."

Picard smiled. "Excellent! Meet us in Sickbay, Mr. Worf."

"Aye, sir."

Captain's Log (supplemental): Despite the fact that it makes no sense at all, I have decided to aid the man who called himself "Nick" in completing his...mission. To that end, Mr. Worf has very reluctantly agreed to play a very important role...

"Ho, Ho, Ho?" the Klingon snarled. "I do not think that I will be saying that."

Worf, resplendent in a bright red suit, trimmed in while fur with a big black belt and big black boots continued to scowl even in the face of Nick's infectious joviality.

"You don't say it, son," Nick said, "you feel it..."

Crusher came up behind Worf and put her hand up on his shoulder. "Come on, Worf," she said mischievously, "you have to get into the spirit of things."

"Doctor," Worf responded sternly, "I fail to see the humor in this situation."

"As do I, Commander," Selar said disapprovingly. "As do I."

"Nevertheless, doctor," Picard said expansively as he re-entered Sickbay, "we have agreed to do this and so we shall."

Nick nodded. "Thank you, Jean-Luc," he said. "Thank all of you."

Picard drew closer to Worf. "You look splendid, Mr. Worf!"

Worf suppressed a groan. "Thank you, sir," he replied dourly.
"Now if you will proceed to Transporter Room 3, you'll find Commander LaForge and your..." he paused and then lowered his voice, "...elves..."

"Elves?!"

"Of course, son," Nick said brightly, "you can't do the job without elves!"

Worf regarded the old man with a murderous glare and then muttered a curse in Klingon.

As he entered Transporter Room 3, “Santa” Worf was greeted by a very amused LaForge. Geordi was holding out a red and white hat and a white beard.

"What is this, Commander?" Worf inquired warily.

"You lived on Earth, Worf," Geordi replied, barely able to contain his glee, "you know that that outfit isn't complete without these. The Captain thought we should hold off on giving you these until the last moment..."

Worf muttered another, stronger curse as he took the hat and beard from Geordi. "The Captain mentioned something about...elves...?"

Geordi nodded towards the transporter pads.

"That would be us, Father," a chipper voice called out.

Worf turned and there on the pad in matching bright green outfits with matching green elf caps, were Counselor Deanna Troi, Lt. Commander Data, and Alexander, Worf's 9-year-old son. On one of the pads, was a large bag full of brightly-wrapped gifts.

"Alexander? Counselor? Commander?" Worf said incredulously. "What are you doing in those outfits?"

"We're going to help you be Santa Claus, Father!" Alexander said with unbridled excitement. "Grandmother told me all about him but I never thought I'd actually get to help him out! Isn't this great?"

Worf shook his head. "Yes," he said rolling his eyes toward Geordi, "it's just great..."

Deanna came down off the pad and took the hat from Worf and put it on top of his head. She put the beard in place. Then she leaned forward and said, "I know you're embarrassed but think of all of the good this will do." She paused and then added, "Look how happy Alexander is."
She kissed his cheek and then took his hand. "Now, come along, Santa, we have work to do."

Worf and Troi stepped onto the pad.

"Do you have the coordinates of the first residence we are supposed to visit, Geordi?"

"All laid in, Data," Geordi answered. Then he looked up at Worf with an impish grin on his face and said, "Hey, Santa...Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Worf's reply was lost in the hum of the transportation cycle beginning.

Santa Worf and his elves materialized in a darkened house.

Data took a tricorder from his belt and opened it. "Yes, this is the correct residence," he said.

"I thought there was supposed to be a tree to leave these things under," Worf grumbled.

"It's over here, Father...I mean, Santa..." Alexander called out in a stage whisper from across the room.

Worf and the others moved across the room. "Where is it?" Worf asked, irritated.

"It's right in front of you, Santa," Alexander replied.

Santa Worf reached out and as he did, a single golden spark stole from his gloved fingertip and the tree blazed to life with a rainbow of floating lights illuminating it from top to bottom.

"Worf?" Deanna said.

"Lieutenant," Data said, 'how did you do that...?"

"I...I do not know..." Worf said staring at his own finger.

"You're Santa Claus!" Alexander offered guilelessly. "You can do anything!"

Deanna's head suddenly jerked up. "Shh! Someone's awake!"

Before they could react, a little girl...no more than 3 years old...appeared in the doorway. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and then she looked up at Worf. Her eyes grew wide with delight. "Santa!" she cried out. "Santa you came! Just like you promised you would!"
"Promised?" Worf stammered.

"I sent you a com-message and you said that you would come and you did!"

The little girl ran over and hugged Worf's leg. He reached down and lifted the little girl up. "If I told you I would be here, Ariel," he said gently, "then you knew that I would be. I never lie."

Data and Troi looked at each other with puzzled looks on their faces. Alexander dutifully placed the contents of the bag around the tree.

Worf gingerly placed the child back down on the floor. "Now I believe that you should return to your bed and sleep until the morning."

Ariel looked up admiringly. "Okay, Santa," she replied. Then she motioned for Worf to bend down.

Santa Worf went down on one knee and Ariel drew closer. She kissed him on his cheek. "Thank you for visiting my house, Santa," she whispered. "I love you."

Worf blushed. "Go to bed, little one..." he said. "...and...Happy Christmas..."

The child waved at Alexander as she left the room.

"Worf, how did you know that child's name?" Deanna asked.

Worf frowned thoughtfully. "I...I just did..." he replied. "Father Christmas knows the names of all the boys and girls."

Deanna smiled and hugged his massive arm. "Yes he does," she said. "Yes he does."

Their mission completed, Santa Worf and his elves beamed up to the Enterprise to collect more gifts and then down to another home. And another. And yet another.

In due course, the tasks were done and Worf and the others returned to Sickbay.

"Mission accomplished, sir," Santa Worf, still wearing the suit along with the beard and hat, reported.

Picard smiled. "Well done, Mr. Worf. Well done, all of you."

Alexander edged close to the bed where Nick was sitting up. "My father did a good job, sir," he said shyly.

Nick chuckled and patted Alexander's head with grandfatherly gentleness. "I knew that he would, son," he said. "That's why I chose him."

Nick stood up. "I thank you all for your hospitality and your aid...but now I must be off. The wife will be looking for us."

Crusher moved forward. "You're too weak to travel."

"I must concur," Selar added.

"My dears," Nick said gratefully, "please do not worry. Your gentle ministrations have healed this old man's soul as well as his body."

In a flash of golden light, Nick was gone.

Before anyone could say anything, they suddenly found themselves in Ten-Forward with Riker and LaForge.

"Captain?" Riker said incredulously. "I was just on the Bridge and now..."

Picard held up his hand to silence the Commander and his attention was riveted on a sight outside the large windows.

There Nick, in his sleigh, with his reins spurring on the reindeer, waved jauntily towards all of them.

"Merry Christmas," he said (and somehow they could all hear him.) "Merry Christmas to you one and all."

Suddenly, Picard found himself, in civilian attire, in front of his childhood home in France. The door suddenly swung open and his nephew Rene was there with the widest smile in the world on his face.

"You see, father, he's here!" the boy cried out happily, "Uncle is here for Christmas just like I knew he would be!"

"So he is," Robert Picard replied, desperately trying to hide the happiness he felt at having his brother home for the holidays.

Marie Picard appeared and gently scolded her son, "Well, let him in and close that door before all the heat goes away."

Picard glanced up at a slow moving star and smiled before allowing himself to be led into the warm house.

Suddenly, Crusher found herself, in civilian attire, in the house that she owned on Earth. Someone had set up a little tree and she could smell cider brewing and there was a fire in the fireplace. "Hello?" she called out.

Her son, Wesley Crusher, on holiday leave from Starfleet Academy, stepped through the door with two fragrant mugs of cider. 'Merry Christmas, Mom," he said with a smile.

Beverly smiled brightly. "How did you know I would be here?"

Wesley grinned. " I just did..."

Suddenly, Riker found himself, in civilian attire, at the door of the house his father owned. Before he could ring, his father opened the door and seized him in a bearhug.

"Welcome home, son," Kyle Riker said, "and Merry Christmas!"

Will relaxed into the hug. "Merry Christmas to you, Dad."

Suddenly Geordi and Data found themselves, both in civilian attire, in front of a door in a long, warm hallway.

"Geordi, where are we?"

Geordi smiled. "We're home, Data," he exclaimed. "This is my parent's apartment!"

The door came open and Dr. and Captain LaForge drew their son into a family embrace.

"Merry Christmas, son," Dr. Edward LaForge said.

"And welcome home!" his mother added.

Geordi looked back over his shoulder. "Mom, Dad, this is my best friend, Data," he said. "I hope you don't mind that I brought him home for the holidays."

Alvea LaForge put her arm across Data's shoulders and led him in. "Certainly not! Any friend of Geordi's is a part of our family too!"

"Thank you, Captain LaForge," Data said. "And, in the vernacular of the season, allow me to wish you both a very merry Christmas."

And suddenly, Worf, Deanna, and Alexander, all in civilian clothes, found themselves in the warm, plush living room of Sergey and Helena Rozhenko.
"Father, we're..." Alexander exclaimed.

The Rozhenkos came out of the kitchen and Alexander ran into their welcoming embrace.

"...we're home..." Worf said. "Mother, Father, it is good to be home."

Helena smiled and took her son's face into her hands. "And it is good to have you home, my son."

Worf took Deanna's hand and drew her closer. "This is our friend, Deanna...I hope you don't mind her joining us for the holidays..."

"Don't be silly, my son," Sergey said boisterously, taking Deanna under his arm.
"The more the merrier! And this pretty lady is always welcome in our home!"

"Thank you, Mr. Rozhenko," Deanna said with a warm smile.

"Please call me Sergey," he corrected her. "Come let us eat!"

As the others moved into the next room in a commotion of laughter and conversation, Worf paused at the large Christmas tree in the corner of the room. He held out his hand to it and a golden spark came forth and the tree came to bright and beautiful life with dazzling lights.

He glanced out of a window on the snowy Russian landscape and he saw a slow moving star moving northward. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" he said softly before moving following the sound of laughter to his own Christmas celebration.

And suddenly, Selar found herself in her quarters on the Enterprise. "Fascinating," she mused aloud.

She noticed that there was a small tree, decorated with balls of delicate blown glass and twinkling lights on the table in the reception area. Underneath the table was a box, gaily wrapped and festooned with a ribbon.

She opened the box and found a framed photograph of herself as a child in the arms of her mother, who in turn was being held by her father.

There was the sound of bells tinkling merrily and Selar went to the porthole in her quarters. Nick, his sleigh in a soft arc towards Earth, smiled at her. "Merry Christmas, daughter," she heard him say.

Selar let her guard down and said, "Merry Christmas, sir." Then she regained her Vulcan demeanor. She picked up the photo and looked at it for a long time...then a small smile dawned on her face. "Merry Christmas, indeed..."

• For any Trekkers amongst you, this story takes place near the end of the 5th year of the voyage (hence, Worf still being a Lieutenant, Captain LaForge not being among the missing, Picard’s family still being alive, and Wesley Crusher being in Starfleet Academy.) Dr. Selar first appeared in the 2nd year episode, "The Schizoid Man".

All characters are TM and ©2005 Paramount Pictures